Service with a... grunt

Okay, if you've read my blog before then you know that I am truly enjoying Singapore. So I preempt my below comments with that statement.

Singapore has it all - an international, multi-cultural community, phenomenal public services, super easy travel, balmy weather 24-7, ridiculous shopping and delish food. For a country that strives so hard to be amazing and best-in-class, it's almost funny to see how far off the mark they are when it comes to service. If you live here or have traveled here, this will come as no shock to you because it's pretty much part of the local dialogue for expats and travelers. But for everyone else not familiar with the Lion City, let me boil it down for you real simple - Singapore service sucks.

Now, I will caveat by saying that I have certainly had moments of fantastic service here. Hilarious cabbies, wonderful waiters, grocery store workers that take the time to explain what the hell the difference is between the TWENTY-SEVEN different versions of hotdogs, etc. However, these are the glimmering moments of hope in a sea of bad service stories. As someone with years of waitressing, bartending, beer-cart driving and corporate customer service experience, I can tell you it's not because Singaporeans are rude, or because they don't have the skills, or anything of that nature. It really all comes down to one simple thing.... tipping.

In the States, tipping is a way of life. You tip your bartender, waiter, taxi driver, doorman, delivery guy, porter, coffee barista, hotel concierge - hell, you even essentially tip the homeless people on the street in recognition of their gumption for asking. And the better the service, the bigger the tip.  In dear Singapore, not so much. First of all, the homeless people are apparently miraculously transparent, because I never see them. So if they're asking for money, it's invisible and therefore moot.  Secondly, crappy $4.25/hr + tips pay is unheard of.  Most restaurants and bars have instituted a 10% "service charge" to bills, but it's not the same as being broke as a joke because you paycheck is occasionally negative after taxes and having to scrape by on tips based on your sparkling personality and service attitude.  People here just automatically pay the 10% and the "tips" are split between everyone.  No behavioral impetus to blow someone's socks off with unbelievable service, because your colleague can sit on his tail for the whole shift and still get some cashflow. And tipping a taxi driver is practically anathema to Singaporeans.

But for those of you that know me, you know I am a woman of action. So, I have decided I am going to single-handedly begin a revolution.

Sounds pretty big and important, right? Like maybe I'm going to start an Occupy Singapore Service movement or something.  Well, let's be honest. That's not happening. Perhaps revolution is a little over-the-top, but I'll stick with it.

Here's my revolution plan - it's essentially the offspring of a pyramid scheme and Oprah's pay-it-forward:
 - Step One: I step up my frequenting of local bars and restaurants, and increase my laziness factor to ensure constant usage of delivery guys and taxi drivers.
 - Step Two: I leave more-than-10% tips each time they do something that is actually part of their job.
 - Step Three: I tell them how impressed I was with their service attitude and that I want to tip them so they are compensated for their service. I ensure that I say this with gusto at all times.
 - Step Four: These people now go out into Singapore with my deeply inspiring words resonating in their heads and my money burning in their pocket. When they see good service, they will then repeat Steps Two and Three.
 - Step Five: This new, even bigger group of people go out with the previous peeps money and inspiring words (obviously missing my I-had-a-dream resonance, but still a good message), and repeats Two and Three for each good service experience.
 - Step Six: People become addicted to getting and giving tips, and unaccepting of bad service.
 - Step Seven: Singapore becomes world-renowned for their service culture, making my life easier and it more fun to go out.

I'm pretty sure I can get this done in about six weeks. Maybe eight, since I'm traveling back to the U.S. for Christmas, so that leaves a gap in the revolution timeline. Eitherway, I'm feeling like I've got a good shot at some big government award, or maybe a Nobel prize by the time I'm 34.

And, what better time to start this revolution than RIGHT NOW? Nope, no lolly-gagging for me. In fact, I hear my doorbell being rung by what I am sure will be the most amazingly service oriented (or soon to be) delivery guy. Excuse me, I have a revolution to start....

It's been a while....

Well, I guess it's pretty clear at this point that I'm not too great at being a blogger. Life is fast and furious, and my blog has just taken a back seat.  So as I sit here on a quiet holiday Monday night, I will do my best to get back on track. Since it's been months, I will provide a 10,000 foot overview....

(By the way, lots of new pics at the bottom of the page from the last few months!).

Whirlwind travel to Kuala Lumpur, Manila and Hong Kong.  I never spent more than 72 hours in either place, but they were all jam packed with amazingness.
- Kuala Lumpur was a whirlwind of ridiculously amazing shoe shopping (I walked away with four new pairs and two purses. Pretty good for someone who says "I'm not a big shopper") and partying. Highlights - best tapas ever (especially considering it's Malaysia, go figure), the best bus ride ever with 8am beers, massage chairs and the original Mario Bros. on my own personal console, all topped off by apparently the hottest expat men in this side of the world all congregated in one city.
 - Linda (my fave travel buddy) and I then hit up Manila a few weeks later, pre-work tripping it up in this amazing and very different city. Coming from Singapore, Manila is an entirely different world. It's poor, there are bars infront of every house, it started flooding after 15 minutes of intense rain and there were army guys carrying AK-47s checking bags as we entered the hotel. But, it was also eye-opening and beautiful.  It's filled with old, crumbling forts that more closely resemble castles, dirt poor children begging at your taxi for money but with sparkling eyes and gorgeous skin, and hidden gems of local stores, gardens and Madonna statues (not the Material-world version). Definitely opens your eyes to a different side of the world. Oh, and we also danced until our feet fell off and had a blast with old expats from all over at 4am. Lovely time.
 - Hong Kong. Most ridiculous time EVER. Linda, George (my other fave travel buddy) and I had 46 hours and a desire to soak in as much as possible. And did we ever. We essentially packed in what others would take 4-5 days to do in less than 2 days, with about 5 hours of sleep.  Completely worth it. Highlights included cramming three adults into the tiniest hotel room, in which we had a complete blast, dancing and meeting tons of expats and travelers in pretty much all the hot spots in Lan Kwai Fong (party/dance/dinner central), laughing hysterically at the most drunk people I have ever seen stumbling their way home at 5am - and I've lived in Florida, so I've seen some seriously drunk people, so that's really saying something - seeing a fish sliced open and it's heart still beating as someone bought it at the huge fish market, taking pictures at the peak of the city, watching the lamest light show in the world and watching George do a dance show for us at 6am as the sun rose. I came home exhausted and it took a week for my liver to begin functioning again. And it was totally worth it. Check out some of the pics.

Finally feeling like Singapore is my city.
 - As readers know, it's been almost a year since I've arrived (actually 52 days until my one year anniversary!). And it's been a year of ups and downs. Elation that I'm here, excitement at opportunities I would never had imagined a year ago, phenomenal new friends, unbelievable travel, coupled with homesickness, uncertainty at my decision to move so far away from everyone I love, and being sick every time I turn around. But I can say I have really come through to the other side, and Singapore has really weaseled it's way into my heart. I've made a great circle of friends, figured out how to maneuver with ease around the city, become more confident at my work and where I want to take my career, and learned to embrace the differences instead of feeling disoriented by them. It's still a little too hot for me, but I love it and am so grateful that I made the move. Sometimes I'm almost overwhelmed with a feeling of extreme luckiness - how did I get such an amazing chance? It's worth all the struggle and I can't wait to see what the next year brings!

Okay, so I have lots more to catch up on - such as rugby (AKA hot men in tiny shorts), my love of singlish, my near-death experience (slight exaggeration) with the falling chandelier, and being knocked down by the drunkest person to ever function as he literally CLIMBED over me to get in the cab as I was still in it.  But this blog is quite long enough.

Now that I've finally caught up with you a little, I will work harder to keep it up and bring the Acker sassiness to My Singapore Life. Quick note - for those in Boston, Caroline and I will be having a NYE party and all our friends are invited! Since this is on the web, I won't out party deets here, but if you know me, you'll know it's at my favorite Boston bar.....  Look for more details soon!

For my family and friends, I LOVE YOU and MISS YOU!!!

A small contribution to humanity

Today, I'd like to talk about long toenails.

Now, I know many of you are thinking - wait, isn't this blog supposed to be about Ack's experiences in Singapore? And I understand your reason behind asking that question, really I do. However, I feel I would be doing a great disservice to humanity by not addressing this issue, dear Readers.  This has got to stop and it's starts today.

(...Actually, I just realized there IS a way to tie the long toenail issue into the original scope of my blog. See, I am experiencing the long toenail here in Singapore, perhaps more often than in the States, due to the constant high temperatures, which then leads to everyone constantly wearing open-toe shoes and flipflops, leading to my throwing up inside my own mouth at least twice a day.  There, now it all comes together and we can move on.)

Here's the situation (or situ, as I like to say to help save time while speaking) - long toenails are far too common and are blighting what otherwise could be perfectly fine feet everywhere.

I get that long toenails were appropriate when we were apes still hanging out in trees, grabbing for dangling fruit off branches. Back in the day, long toenails where probably quite the boon to our ability to climb, so that you could get food to eat and survive, or perhaps to trade for sex, which is also quite key to survival. Especially if you were a hairy ape with rotting teeth and hair mites, as I imagine that bribery was occasionally necessary to woe the ladies.

Anyway...so, I get it. Long toe nails have a place in our history and have probably played an important role in the survival of our species.  But today, I rarely see any reason to need to climb a tree, especially to reach dangling fruit to trade for sex. We have all these cool inventions today, like...  ladders. And fruit pickers. And grocery stores with every fruit you've ever desired sitting there just waiting to be bought for mere dollars. Plus, we even found a way to turn body hair into something sexy through cleverly designed manscaping, and there is perfectly good medicine if you somehow find yourself with a case of hair mites. Fruit as a sex bribe is no longer necessary.

That means there is no reason to climb a tree past the age of 10 in this day and age. Hence, there is no physical need for long toe nails. You wouldn't still use your arms to help you scamper across the ground, would you? No, of course not, because we have moved past that into this wonderful upright position that allows us to look much better in shirts. So why would you choose to hang on to the long toe nails??

But yet, some people are hanging on to those babies with vengeance.  As I've recently become obsessed with the incongruity of this phenomenon, I've done a little stealthy investigation and have observed quite a varied range - scraggly and yellow with what I'm hoping is tanning lotion stain because I can't begin to ponder what else if could actually be, ones so long they're curling over flip flops (yes, I said over flip flops), others crammed into too-small peep toe shoes and struggling to break free, and the real kicker, PAINTED ones with what seems to often be polka dots, or something in the same ridiculous range, so as to perhaps accentuate the length. I am actually getting nauseous typing this.

So, I've decided it's time to take a stand. It's going to take a world-wide movement to put an end to this craziness, because it's everywhere - even if you don't see it because you live somewhere that requires socks 24/7 to keep away frostbite, it's STILL THERE. Under the sock. Or even worse, scratching you in bed.

We have to take a stand, put our trimmed-toenailed foot down and bring those gripped by the insanity back to reason. It takes courage, commitment and patience, I know, but it's worth it. If not for your sake and for the sake of your peers, then do it for your grandchildren.

All you need to say is something along this line - Hey long-toenailed person, you don't need to climb a tree anymore to survive, it's time to trim those babies up and become a part of the human race.

That's not so hard, right? A little effort from us all, and we can end the madness. We can even start a facebook page and take this viral.

So, who's with me??

On the approach of my six month anniversary

As I get ready to celebrate my 6-month anniversary here (I cannot believe it's already been that long - crazy!), I am starting to feel like less of a newbie. The past few weeks have been great - I've been meeting new people, trying out new places with friends across the city, joined a gym and got a trainer that is absolutely kicking my ass.  It's been a crazy almost six months, a real eye opener for me as I learned new things about myself and got way out of my comfort zone, but it's feeling really good.

One of the best things about living here is the vast array of people you meet.  Last night, my friends George (2nd shout-out GK!), Linda and I held our first party at our condo pool. It was fantastic - 20 or so people drinking margaritas made by yours truly, munching on delicious food and just chatting it up for hours. But the really great part was meeting people from all across the globe, some new to Singapore and some "oldies", and talking about our experiences here, our lives and how we all made it to this little tiny island/city/state and ended up at the bbq together. In one night, I met people from Greece, the Netherlands, London, Argentina, Mexico... the list goes on. I even met a guy that is from North Carolina about 20 minutes away from where I grew up, and went to college at Clemson, where I used to go party. What a fantastically tiny/huge world this is, and last night really brought that home for me. While I love America and do miss is very much, I realize that I am meeting people and experiencing things that I would never have the chance to in the States. I'll look back on this experience in the years to come and tell my grandkids about how I once lived this crazy life in Singapore, traveling the world, meeting people from all over and doing things that most people just talk about but never get a chance to actually make it come to life.  I feel remarkably lucky, and happy that I'm starting to feel more like Singapore is home.

Can't wait for the next six month - imagine what my post will be at that huge anniversary?

The curious case of missing commercials

I've discovered that I miss commercials.

I miss being interrupted 15 times in a 30-minute show so that someone can cram their marketing down my throat, forcing their idea of what happy, cool people want so that you may also suddenly want it, too.  I miss having a reason to flip the channel, or to chuckle condescendingly at the silly fluff that someone spent $400k on to make and spew on my television.  Now, if I know you (which granted, I may not, but work with me here), you're thinking "Who in the hell misses commercials, Acker?". I know, I get it. I'd say the same thing if I were in your shoes. But... I do. I really miss them.

Let me explain.  Here in the wonder of Singapore, commercials are rare creatures, barely popping their head up to say hello.  Apparently advertising on television hasn't quite caught on here, or they figure the 2000 signs you see on the bus, the MRT (subway), magazines, etc are more than plenty to take in.  For the first few months, I thought it was great - you never realize how many commercials there really are until you rarely see them.  It was cute, even quaint - "isn't Singapore awesome?? They don't even interrupt my television show to blast me with advertisements!".

Then, it slowly to creep up on me. I started feeling disconnected - no American radio, no gossipy news in the papers here, no water cooler talk about how hot Bradley Cooper is or did you see the latest Sox game - but that I could handle because I expected it. What I didn't expect is that commercials actually tell you something about the world you live in and without them, you feel a little.... well, unnotified (that's probably not a word, but let's go with it).  You don't hear about cool new useless things to buy, or see great hair styles to try, or salivate over a car you can never imagine driving but can see your future boyfriend in. And you don't get to laugh at the Old Spice guy, or wonder if they really meant to portray Lindsay Lohan on the eTrade commercial or if she's just a tad too sensitive.  Nope, it's just you and the tv show, and it's surprisingly boring.

Now here's the really interesting part. Sometimes a commercial comes on for a brand I know from the States and I find myself pausing to watch, invested in the outcome of that 30 second spot.  It's like a little slice of home and I actually relish it. Weird, right? I have become a marketer's dream, but they can't reach me.

And the real kicker? Since they are so few commercials, shows don't always come on at "normal times". Since a show is created to last 30-60 minutes with commercial breaks, it only last 22-40 minutes here. So they'll just start up the First 48 at 7:20, followed by Ancient Aliens at 8:05.  Seems so innocuous, but it just makes you feel discombobulated. I love that word.

Okay, that's my diatribe about commercials. Little, weird and unexpected differences are what makes this exciting though, so I'll get past it. Somehow, someway, I will make it past my strange sadness over missing commercials. This too shall pass. ;)

Before I go, I promised my friend GK a shout out on my next blog. So, to the GOAT, the best wingman, social butterfly and beer can cracking pool friend ever, here's to you. A real American hero. Wait, that sounds a little like the Budweiser commercials. I'm definitely losing it.

Suddenly, so many stamps on my passport! (new pics below!)

The past few weeks has been a whirlwind. I almost lost my mind at work, I turned 33, one of my best friends in the world came to visit, we ran around Singapore like true tourists purchasing everything beautiful, and I traveled for the first time to Indonesia and Thailand - all in the course of about 12 days. I'm actually exhausted just by writing that.

But it has been a complete blast.  And I needed it. The past few months have been tough - if you've read my previous blogs you know why. If not, let me give you a short and sweet recap - work, lots and lots of work, completely overwhelming volumes of work, and very little down/personal time. Vacation could not have come at a better time.

My bestie CR flew over from the States to play tourist with me - starting in Singapore, then to Bintan, Indonesia, topped off with some time in Phuket, Thailand and one day back in Singapore (just to catch up on spending any money we hadn't already). It was like a drinking, eating, money-spending marathon and I am happy to report that we most certainly came in first place. We pretty much showed our livers what they had been missing out on since I left Boston, and our bank accounts that saving money is for wussies. Thank goodness that the Bhat in Thailand is pretty much worth $0.05 or I'd be panhandling my tourist trap goods on the streets of Singapore to pay my cell phone bill this month.

But, totally worth it. Worth days of little sleep, veins chock-a-block with tequila and vodka and a bank account that may still be weezing. It was by far the best vacation of my life.

In moments of weepy self-pity, I can look at those ten days and ask myself who else is lucky enough to ring in their all-important 33rd birthday by dancing in the Indian Ocean, under shooting stars, drink in hand brought down to the ocean by room service, with three amazing friends? Then I'll remind myself that I had the chance to stay at a 5-star resort in Thailand for PENNIES, spend time with my bestie who just so happens to be the ideal travel partner, and I even got what other people would refer to as a light pink color, but I would call a full-out tan.  Lucky, lucky girl, that's what I'll be telling myself for months.

Great pics below of the trip. Without wasting a lot of your time, I figured I'd give the three minute overview of the trip below. See if you can spot the occurring themes:

Day #1 - chilling by the pool enjoying margaritas. Out that night to the local tourist hotspot, Clarke Quay, where we are hit on by 21-year-old Oompha Loomphas.  Crying jag at 3am, then off to bed.
Day #2 - Shopping, get told "you SOOOO lucky" by the strangest man to ever work in a store about 100 times. Think I'm on Candid Camera or Ashton Kutcher is going to show up. Drinks at the infamous Long Bar for the real deal Singapore Sling (ehhhh). Highlight of the day is a full-out dance fest at the smokiest club in existence, Attica. Bottle service, dancing until 4am and a make-out or two. Nice.
Day #3 - Best brunch EVER with champagne free pour, then off to the Tanjong Beach club for more drinks and hot boys in bathing suits. Double nice. Don't pack as planned for next day, but finally make my way home around 2am.
Day #4 - WORST HANGOVER EVER (guess that goes without saying, right?). Throw everything that looks like clothing into a suitcase and somehow remember to brush my teeth. Take a ferry to Bintan, Indonesia, take pictures of the most outrageously over-the-top signs, arrive at resort where I procede to try to sleep to no avail. Meet up with friends who have been drinking all day, go for an amazing local dinner where we're serenaded by a live band at our table, eat a delicious crab that we unfortunately had to pick out live and buy a really gross but strangely funny wood carving of huge-headed people in flagrante delicto. Make way to ocean for our own personal dance party, drinks and amazing clove cigarettes. See shooting stars - believe the universe is telling me happy birthday.
Day #5 - Ocean time with friends, then massages by the ocean before heading back to Singapore. Misplace my reentry document and totally freak out thinking I'm going to be stuck in Indonesia as my friends keep going. Look like an ass and almost break down in tears, then find the document. Am allowed in, with a stern "you're a moron" look from the immigration guy.
Day #6 - Fantastic shopping in Chinatown and squares of bbq's pork meat. Wine on the rooftop terrace, under the guise of a low-key night so we can pack for Thailand. Utter fail, as we don't pack.
Day #7 - Throw more stuff in a suitcase, then off to airport for flight to Phuket. Arrive at the resort, double check to see if anyone is trying to throw me out as pretty sure I'm not allowed at a place this nice. Somehow slip through the cracks and check in. After oohing and aahing at the room, head to the amazing infinity pool by the ocean with CR. Promptly order drinks from the cabana boy and take a huge sigh of relief. Foot massage while CR sleeps, where I get to see a man's shorts split open during the very aerobic Thai massage. Giggle. Then off to a dinner that is not only ridiculous and massive, but included in our package at no cost. Almost lose a lung from laughing that the crazy "You SOOOO lucky" guy was actually right.
Day #8 - Pool, then off to do some "local" shopping. Realize that means buying from a 7-11 or getting used tires in what ends up being a very dead area of town. Finally find a taxi that actually looks like a fire truck without the water instruments. Try not to die during ride to Patong Beach while sitting beside a old, unplugged standing fan that is inexplicably laying in my seat. Realize that I am have become too old for Patong but the 40-year old Australians somehow aren't, stare in awe at the "lady boys", try not to get robbed by a 5-year old and bargain for a super cheap Laughing Buddha.
Day #9 - Go snorkling for the first time, almost panic then realize there is so much salt in the ocean you could actually float without trying, see amazing fish and coral and walk the beach from the movie "The Beach". (Good name, quite descriptive). Snorkle in the middle of the ocean, almost break my knee trying to get back in the boat, enjoy a beer with CR at a bar plopped in the middle of the sea and try not to slobber on the hot Spanish guy. Get dressed to go out, hit the resort bar and never make it past there. Amazing dinner and lots of burnt lemon margaritas, which just so happens to be the best drink ever. CR steals the drink menu to make at home.
Day #10 - pool, then 2.5 hours of massages and facials, shopping, dinner then back to Singapore. Revel in the fact that the restrooms are outside, and nice! Bid a bittersweet tear of goodbye to Phuket. Come dragging my ass in around 2am.
Day #11 - Awesome shopping on Arab Street, where we somehow find the best deals from a Chinese man. Hawker center food for dinner, then wine on the terrace in guise of yet another low-key night so CR can go to bed early. Another utter fail. Packing at 1am.
Day #12 - CR leaves at 5am, I cry a little, then sleep for 6 hours. Body hates me, but my soul is light and happy. Best vacay ever.

The good, the bad and the very ugly...

The thing I love about being half-way across the world is the new things you learn - it's definitely not America over here and I get a nice dose of that reality every once in a while. It's easy to forget that in a city/country that is so cosmopolitan and somewhat westernized, but we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Today is election day here in Singapore, and it's made me think about the new world I live in. So as you know in the States when it's election day, about 30-40% of us will vote (in a good year), you'll be bombarded with signs and campaigners even while you're in the lines queuing to vote and it's a hassle to get there to actually vote because it's always a working day and the lines can be horrendous, right? Hence, many don't vote, then we all complain about the outcome.

Not so in Singapore (oh, that's fun to say out loud. No really, try it). It's actually MANDATORY to vote. Yes, you heard that right. They're so freaking organized over here that you get your little voting card in the mail about a week prior, it tells you exactly where to go and it's always very close to your home so that you can make it, voting is done on a Saturday (which is a national holiday so many places are also closed or will open late), and the day before is an official "cooling off day", which means no campaigning, signage, debates, etc after that day. It's supposed to give people time to think about their choices without pressure, and people here take it pretty damn seriously. I was out last night and asked a few locals what they were planning to do after work and they told me they were going home for the cooling off time.  I'm drinking a beer, they're considering the future of their country. Yep, I'm definitely an American. ;)

They've got a lot of things right here - I like the Saturday voting to help people work it in with little issues to their life. In fact, they even give everyone an extra vacation day at all companies to make up for taking a Saturday. So even though I can't vote, I get an extra vacay day - NICE! I love the organization of it - according to my local friends, it only take 10-15 minutes to vote, including queuing in line. And I like the cooling off period - it's overwhelming with all of the info, marketing and signage being thrust in your face literally until the moment you vote in the States.

However, I'm not sure how I feel about mandatory voting. I see the benefits - everyone has a say, it forces you to be involved in your country and the decision-making process - but it just feels so... parental. Like you're not free to make your own decisions 100% and someone else knows better than you.  It definitely makes me appreciate the open choice of America, while still recognizing the benefits of the way it's done here. It's an interesting dilemma.

Oh, and for the ugly in the title, you ask? I've got a great one for you.  Some traditional men here actually purposely grow HAIR out of moles on their face/neck and will never cut it or trim it. It's recognized as a traditional sign of wealth and fortune, so it's taken pretty seriously for some men (typically for men in the older generations - I've yet to see a 25 year old with a disgustingly long hair growing out of their face). I get that it's a sign of good fortune and all and I appreciate that I'm the outsider here and don't really understand the customs, but it's just so gross. There's really no other word for it. It actually makes me throw up in my mouth a little. Yep, just a little, but it's there.

So, to wrap up - I'm blissfully unaware of being the foreigner here most days, but am still clearly one. That's okay though - expats get the best tax deal ever, so that makes up for it.

Well, it's good to be back

Hello Dear Readers! I know it's been a while since I wrote, but I promise there have been good reasons - the pure insanity of my life the last few weeks. But I have to say it feels really good to be back - I am reconnecting with the reason that I moved here and writing to you just seals that for me. Let me explain...

My life has been consumed by work the past three to four weeks. I've been living and breathing my job, with little breaks of back-like-I'm-in-college partying, and the rare night of sleep. It's been an intense few weeks, and I have to be honest, I almost broke there for a few days last week. By Wednesday, I was ready to staple my eyes shut to get some sleep and by Friday, I was prepared to just curl up in my bed and not get back up for a few days.  The problem with living halfway across the world from all of your friends and family is you have no check-in. No one that says "Hey Steph, you're running yourself into the ground" or just a simple "Get a freaking grip and breathe, sister." It's surprising how easy it is to start losing yourself when you're disconnected from your grounders in life. But that's what happened to me. I have been so caught up in my job, in doing really well, trying to handle this massive job that probably needs two people to do it some days and making sure I just don't f-up, that I forgot for a little while exactly why I moved here - to change my life, expand myself and LIVE LIFE. I was doing the whole change my life part, and expanding the hell out of myself when it came to work, but the part about living life? Not so much. Unless you want to count the days that I came crawling home from partying at 4:30am, confused as to which door was my own in my (admittedly confusing) apartment building.  Doesn't really qualify, right?

So, I was suddenly at a moment where going home popped in my mind and I found myself CONSIDERING it. Then it hit me - I've been here for 100 days, killing it at work, making great friends, have the opportunity for an amazing life, and I'm going to wrap it and call it a day because I have allowed myself to not see beyond the door of my office for 4 weeks? Not okay, Acker, not even an option. Luckily, I've met some good friends here and after some time talking it through, getting out to see the city this past weekend and reconnecting with myself and what I want, I'm feeling much more focused and energized. In fact, suddenly I find myself with all this energy to go out, explore and meet people and it won't stop raining! And when I say raining, I actually mean the kind of storm you see in Florida during hurricane season, but without the tornadoes (they don't even have them here, how weird).  So I will settle with getting lots of needed errands done (I'm still only halfway furnished in my house) and hitting up a little bit of quality jacuzzi time.

I've posted some new pics - I'll add more shortly. I went to the absolutely gorgeous Botanical Gardens this weekend and have some great shots, but can't find that pesky camera cord. It's like it knows I'm coming for it and just runs away. Little bastard.

If you're wondering why I've been so work-obsessed, I got that massive strategic project approved. And when I say it will change the way my company does business, it really will. And I'm very proud and excited about that. But now that I've got my head screwed back on straight, I'm going to work hard to keep it that way. Yes, I did move here for a job, but I also moved here for my LIFE. I'm working on the whole balance thing, and while I can't say I have it all figured out, I'm definitely a good work in progress.

Love and kisses to my peeps. More to come soon. Remind me to tell you about the old Chinese men with their coke nail.....

Nothing makes you feel like an Amazon like a short mop

I'm settling in to the beautiful Singapore quite well and am of late rarely reminded of the fact that I am truly a foreigner here. Then, suddenly, I get a nice big slap in the face. Today, that came in the form of a mop.

A mop, you ask? Surely you must be kidding Stephanie - how can a silly little mop make you feel like a newbie all over again in your new home? Well, let me assure you that you heard it right - I did indeed say  mop. And here's how it went down...

I got up early this gorgeous Saturday morning and instead of heading to the pool like my recent Saturdays, I decided I was going to do a thorough spring cleaning of my apartment.  Sounds simple enough, right? So I head over to the little grocery store across the street, buy new cleaning supplies and a mop. I beebop my butt back home, turn on some jams and get to cleaning.

All started well. I have figured out what the Windex and Clorox cleaning equivalents are here, so no bumps in my cleaning routine so far.  I'm bobbing my head to Black and Yellow (I do enjoy a good thug moment in my day) and suddenly - BAM - I'm confronted yet again by the fact that I am an American living in a completely different country.  All because of my new mop.

Now, this mop looks like a normal mop. It's got the mop head, the squeezie arm thing and a long handle. Just like what I'm used to. Except this mop is very clearly not made for someone standing 5'9" in flip flops.  I'm scrubbing my floor bent over like the hag in Hansel and Gretel, pissed and saying silly things like "Oh, my aching back" like I'm 80 years old.  What the hell?? Then it hits me - I'm in Singapore. A country made up of 80% Asian people. And, in general, (just stating generalities here so don't get your panties in a wad) Asian people are shorter than Americans.  So of course it makes sense that mops are shorter, chairs make me look like I'm 7 feet tall with 5 foot legs, and people wear 5 inch heels on a regular basis.

Right, I get that intellectually. I really do. But, I still feel like a silly, tall American trying to mop my floor with a kid's toy.

Finding balance is the name of the game

Hello Dear Readers! I am sitting here on the 31st floor open terrace, watching the city lights, basking from the delicious head massage I just got and completely stressing about a presentation I have to give tomorrow to 100 reps.  Pretty much the story of my life right now. I've come to realize that "work hard, play hard" is more than just a saying in my world at the moment, but probably how I will be living for a while.

So, what's going on? LOTS. It's been a busy, busy few weeks. Let's start with work - going very well so far, but DAMN am I busy! There is so much to do, so many things to accomplish that sometimes I find myself feeling overwhelmed to the point of being frozen. Then I shake myself, grab a Diet Dr. Pepper (reminds me of home!) and get back on track.  Long hours, lots of meetings, huge projects - that's my day. Now, on the good side, I'm hitting quite the groove at work and am (hopefully) starting to make a real impact. People say hi everyday, I get invited to lunch now and my team is starting to ask my advice on issues that I'm not involved in, so progress is being made. I even heard that my name came up at a meeting with the big boss from Canada who was visiting last week - apparently I am going to "change the service culture" here. Not that there's any pressure or anything. ;)  As I've mentioned to a few of you that I've had the chance to chat with, I'll either make or break my career here. Let's just hope on the make, shall we?

Now that the obligatory work update is behind us, let's get to the good stuff - the play hard part. My social/fun life is definitely starting to pick up!  In fact, this past week I made two new friends!! First was Prachi, my new friend from work. She's a newbie too, completely cool and smart - we bonded over lots of delish drinks Friday.  Dancing is on the agenda this coming weekend at the fantastic Clarke Quay, which is this huge area with tons of bars and clubs that you can just wonder around and in and out of places, then stumble into a cab at 4am to go home. Sounds perfect, right?? I'm sure I'll have new, slightly off-balance and potentially blurry pictures to share with you after this weekend.  Then Saturday, I decided that I haven't done enough damage to my poor, pale skin here so I headed down to the pool for some sun and relaxation where I ran into an expat named George. Now, calm down friends - this is not a love match. In fact, he's quite in love with his girl still back in the states, but that doesn't matter to me because do you know what he likes to do?? Drink beer by the pool, play poker, go out dancing and in general talk to random people just like me.  I invited him to a website launch party on Saturday night (I know, I'm really getting uber-cool, right?) and we took the place by storm, just chatting it up with random peeps while drinking free champagne. A guy that can hold his own with me on the social butterfly front? Definitely deserves a spot in the social group.

But the real kicker this weekend was Little India on Sunday - I've added some new pics but it really doesn't even come close to doing it justice. I'm going to paint a little picture for you - imagine if you will that it's a nice, hot Sunday. You decide you're going to meet some people from work to go to a part of town you've never been before and check out a good tourist spot, maybe have a beer or two.  You meet, walk around to some cute little stores, buy a kitschy item or two, drink a beer at a great little Aussie backpacker bar and prepare to head home. The BAM, you're in an ant farm. Literally, it's as close to a people-sizes ant farm as you can even imagine.  Thousands of people EVERYWHERE - on the side of the street, talking on the phone, haggling with vendors, riding motorcycles, crossing streets in herds and chatting with friends. I have never in my life experienced anything like it. It was overwhelming to say the least. My friends decided to take me to this huge, 24-hour store that is in the heart of Little India for the experience, as everyone talks about this place. Imagine Walmart, the Dollar Store, Target and Home Depot all wrapped into one store, then topped with a little drop of acid. That's Mustafa's. Everything you have ever wanted is in this store and it's ridiculously cheap. But, you have to practically crawl over people to move and it's so randomly designed getting lost is a definite possibility. I left feeling utterly exhausted, but I did get some good stuff, so no complaints.  It still makes me tired to even think about it.

Okay, so getting ready to jump off to prep for my big presentation but before I go I wanted to share a little Singaporean-ism. One thing I love about here is the clear directions, signage and instructions everywhere - I mean, there is no wondering where you are, what you should or shouldn't do or even where to stand here. So today, I see this great sign. No shopthefting, it says.  Pretty clear, right? In America, we would say no shoplifting. But really, that's not so clear is it? If you didn't speak English, you may not know what that means. But shopthefting

The butter to my bread

So, the benefit of writing a blog is the complete freedom of worrying if someone will actually read it.  There is no "Oh, am I interesting enough for someone to care enough to read this?" or "How can I get more people to my site?".  No, with a blog, it doesn't really matter if you have no readers or thousands, it's free so you can just post to your heart's content.  No need for advertising or patronage, as long as you can man up to the feedback, you're in happy camper land and can post, post, post until your heart's content.

So, where does that take us today? Well, it's about 12am here on a Saturday night and I have had a decidedly low-key night. Last night I went to a black tie event (I'll catch you up on my RIDICULOUS dress story and the exploding ink soon)  and dragged my ass in around 3:30am. So I figured a low-key night was perfectly acceptable.  I started the night with lots of lotion for my very sun burnt skin (I still have not gotten a handle on the fact that I am 1 degree away from the equator here), then opened a bottle of delish wine and ordered in. While waiting for dinner, I decided I would finally suck it up and watch"Julie, Julia". Not my typical type of movie, but the wine was flowing,  it is 80 degrees outside with an amazing wind and hanging in my gorgeous apartment, I decided I could handle a cheezy night.

Now, for those of you that know me well, you certainly know that I am by no means a cook. From my fire-rice-crispies to always-burnt-toast, cooking is by no means a strong point in my life. So the movie was really more of a time holder to get to Inception that anything else. I started watching, thought it was cute and laughed in all the right places, as intended.  Cute, maybe a little too over the top movie, on a good Saturday night,

Then, I heard the statement "you are the butter to my bread". I won't say angels sung because that would just sound, well, simple, but it was really that moment. You've certainly had one of these moments - one where you realize everything that everyone around you has been striving for and telling you to strive for is just not quite right. That there really is more than filling some gap in your life with a partner that you may, or may not, be with you in 6, 36, 72, or 126 months since realistically you just got together to plug the "what I am doing and where am I going?" kind of moment.  One of those moments that really makes you question your whole future relationship path.

Seems a little much from just watching "Julie, Julia", right ? I know. But sometimes things just hit you. In Singapore, my dating status is of utmost important to people. It's part of knowing who I am as a person and getting to know me outside of work.  I get questioned tirelessly about whom I'm seeing, do I have children, etc.  Drives me nuts, but it's just part of the deal here. So, up until this point I've just kind of accepted it and moved to the next event. And then tonight....

Tonight.... In the movie, a statement is made that the partner is the "butter to my bread".  Think about that. What does that really mean? It means to really appreciate the butter, you have to have good, delicious bread and the butter makes the bread taste even better. Amazing butter still tastes like crap on crappy bread, right?  So, you need to have good, solid, constantly delicious bread to really be able to appreciate the phenomenal butter than can come your way. The butter can take your bread to a whole new level, expanding you to something better than you ever imagined. But, to do that, the butter needs to be amazing ON IT'S OWN, and the bread needs to be fantastic ON IT'S OWN.  Together, you can take things to a new level of amazingness, but you have to be fully amazing on your own so that the extra can bring you both to the next level.

Existentially annoying, I'm sure. But I'm OK with that because this is a blog, as we discussed before. I mean, I'd love it if you liked it, obviously, but if you don't, I just stop writing. There's an amazing amount of freedom in that!

So what am I walking away with tonight? I am excited to be the most well-baked, delicious piece of bread possible. And I'm willing to make the effort to be that bread. And I understand, that when the most amazing pat of butter walks by, it's a story of how phenomenal we can be together - we're both fantastic on our own, but together we're unbelievable. I love that. So much better than the whole silly "you're my other half" kind of thing. I mean, who really wants to just be a half of a whole????

How do you spell annoying in Chinese?

As you know if you read this blog, I am quite happy in my new adopted city. Beautiful city, great people, fun things to do and so far can't-beat-it weather. Overall, I'm super pumped I moved here and can't wait to see what this year brings my way.

That said.... well, I am starting to find the little things that just annoy you. I knew it was coming - the honeymoon phase has to fade at some point I guess.  So, let's play "what annoys the hell out of Stephanie", shall we?

1. For gods sake, please BACK UP when talking to me. I am an American and I thoroughly enjoy my personal space, thank you very much. This isn't consistent throughout the island, so my guess is it is a cultural thing only in certain groups which I haven't quite figured out yet, but either way - This is MY dance space, this is YOUR dance space. No freaking spaghetti arms!
2. Yes, I ate. I eat everyday. It was good. I will eat again tomorrow. Hopefully it will also be good then. Again, I appreciate that it is just a way of showing caring and it's like me asking how are you today, but for some reason it just annoys the shit out of me. Silly I know, but I never claimed to be perfect.
3. Where the hell is all the humus?? Is someone buying it in bulk and hoarding it from me??? I need humus for my crackers damn it.
4. No one gets my (hilarious at least to me) references. When I'm talking to my team and no one responds, my cute little "Bueller... Bueller..." elicits nothing but blank stares. What the hell, that's one of my favorites!
5. Shopping on the web, a personal need, is pretty much non-existent here.  I guess since shopping is practically the national past time, it doesn't quite lend the same cache as hitting up one of the gorgeous malls, but come on! There is nothing better than being able to purchase items at 3am when you can't sleep. Let's get with it Singapore.
6. Why are my bananas hard? (internal chuckle) Bananas should be delicious and tender, not hard and somehow bitter. How do you even make a banana bitter?
7. Yes, I like spicy food. It's not a national event that I am a pale American that likes spicy food. Don't look at your friends with that "sure chicky, whatever you say" look and wait for me to suddenly spit my food out because it's just too hot for my poor little mouth.  That being said, I do love it when people give me major props for eating it and liking it, kind of like winning an award for breathing or something, so maybe I'll let that one go.
8. Stop hovering around me when I'm signing the check. People don't tip here, so I know it's not that. Do they think I'm going to suddenly shoot out of my chair with my unsigned credit card slip laughing with delight that I escaped yet again? I don't understand it and it's annoying, so stop it.
9. STOP taking the good stuff out of my movies and shows on TV. We're adults damn it and if I want to see someone's ass or hear a few curse words, that's why I pay for cable. I'm okay with the corruption of my morals, so let's just leave it at that, k pumpkin?
10. Where are the recycling bins? Aren't we on an island? Where the hell is all of the trash going??

Okay, deep breath..... ahhhh I do feel better.

Brazilians, Bars and Bikers

My title is just a nice little executive wrap up for the week. Definitely starting to settle in and get into a groove. This is the first week I've really had the time to truly explore, beyond just the small jaunts I've had in my short time here. And I have new pictures to prove it (click on the pics at the bottom of the page!)  Friday I found the expat bars near my house (post about that fantastic experience below) and today I hit up the Muslim quarter and then went to the Chingay parade down on the water. The parade celebrates the end of Chinese New Year and is quite a production - over 8000 people from all countries and cultures, a FAIR (I'm a little bit obsessed with fairs, as many of you know), outdoor concerts and then an all-night street dance party. My feet are ready to fall off my body and I need a nice long soak in the hot tub, but my belly is full with beer and ice cream, I have some gorgeous new handmade jewelry and I finally found some cropped pants that don't make me look like I'm just waiting for a flood. Good weekend, I must say.

Now, if you're paying attention, you're probably thinking to yourself "wait, didn't she mention something about Brazilians?" Indeed I did, but this Brazilian is of the non-torture type. Today, I finally embraced the fact that regardless of how much I try to just go with the humidity here and try to be grateful that at least I have curly hair, 80% humidity = frizz. And since I'm a single girl in the city and ready to start playing the wonderful game of dating, there just can be none of that.  There is just no way to look hot with frizzy hair.  So I found an amazing hair dresser and threw down a gulp-inducing amount of money for a Brazilian blow out on my hair.  (Natalia, you were an inspiration!)  I have no idea how it will do since I can't really do anything for another day because you can't get it wet, but if it can do what I've read it will, I am going to be one happy little chickie... with gorgeous frizz less hair.  Let the dating begin!

Off to bed. Sending lots of love to everyone and wishes for a good weekend!

Well color me happy!

Thought I'd do a little exploring around my neighborhood to start the weekend off and suddenly the bar god sent a little bit of happiness my way. Bless him.

Anyway, when people hear where I live they always tell me what a good area for mingling and bars. I've seen some cute bars and all, but I honestly just thought maybe Singaporeans were a little starved for entertainment because while the bars looked fine, nothing was screaming "you must come here, meet people and enjoy a frosty beverage!" Then tonight, I found it. I turned down a street I haven't explored yet. Suddenly, I hear glass clinking. Then, slightly buzzed laughter. I felt I was on the right path and started to speed up. Well, actually I practically started sprinting (the thought of a good frosty beverage can do that to you). I turned the corner and lo and behold, it's bar Mecca! They're everywhere, with lots of expats, music, outdoor seating and, drum roll please!... Happy hour!!!!!!!!

Sending a little prayer of thanks to the bar god. You done good, real good.

Oh, that's what "rainy season" means

Since I've arrived in this gorgeous city, everyone keeps talking about how it's the rainy season. By now, I've seen my share of tropical storms and know that it's a little cooler than what I understand the rest of the year will be like. I bought my multiple umbrellas like a dutiful Singaporean and went on my way, thinking people were maybe a little overactive to the whole rainy season affair while I laid out by the pool day. Then came Saturday. It began with a massive thunderstorm that woke me up that morning and poured all day. No big deal I thought, I lived in Florida for nine years so I'm quite experienced with a stormy summer day. Bounced around town with my super cute new umbrella and went on my way. Then Sunday came - starts with a burst of lightening that made me wonder if living on the 11th floor over a pool was such a rockstar idea. But again, being the slightly annoying Positive Polly I can be, threw on some rubber-soled shoes, grabbed my umbrella and away I went. Monday, it rained so hard I could barely see outside my window at work. Hum, I'm thinking, this IS some serious rain. Luckily we don't seem to really have to much of an issue with flooding here or I'd be more worried. Right? Right??????????

Today, I finally get it. Rainy season = rain that kicks your silly sun's ass whenever it feels like it. Beautiful sun in the morning to start your day? It's just a tease, just enough to make you think ahhh, no more umbrella for me today. Nope, that's just a trick so that you forget your umbrella when you're running late for work and don't worry about turning back around to get it because the sun is out. And what, dear reader, does that get you? Ruined heels, wet-dog hair and pants that leave nice little puddles whenever you stop at someone's desk. Now that I'm finally dry I can laugh and say that yes, I finally get it. It's the rainy season. Carry a damn umbrella.

No longer a lonesome dove

What a week! First, I make either the best maneuver of my career or the biggest mistake after speaking up at a strategy meeting and being asked to run with a project that has the potential to make me or break me here. No pressure or anything. Then, I meet with the biggest producer in the country, a notorious hard ass, and he decides that he not only likes me, but invites me to his Chinese New Year party (which I have NO IDEA what I'm supposed to wear to). Next, after meeting my new friend last week, he decides to invite me to a pretty happening sake & italian pairing shindig at one of the coolest restaurants here, where I not only meet amazing people that invite me to events at some of the best places in the city, but I meet my new gay bestie from Chicago! Who I'm now going to hot yoga with this weekend and then shopping for a new purse (since mine has decided to wither and die in the humidity here).  Every girl knows nothing is better than your best man-friend, but how about when you add the fact that he owns his own club here and is a sommelier?  That means fun party nights, amazing wine and lots of new friends. Perfect.  But alas, while I am not normally a Negative Nelly, there is this small nagging naysayer in the back of my brain saying - just you wait girlie, the other shoe is going to drop. Here's to that shoe staying firmly suspended. 

On the work front, definitely starting to get a sense of how it works here and I have to be honest, it's not all as wonderful. First of all, when I say something aloud, my team just runs with it. No questioning, no feedback, no hey dumb American that is a terrible idea - nada, nothing. Just go and get it done. For those of you that have worked with me, you know what a shitstorm that can be because I happen to be one of those annoying people that literally thinks out loud. So when I think I'm just brainstorming, my team thinks I'm giving a directive. Today, I walked into work to see that we switched up our customer feedback forms to a horrendous light puke green after I happened to mentioned earlier this week that a white feedback form does not lend itself to getting a client's attention. When asked what color would, I mentioned casually that a color that pops would help - like maybe a green that would pick up the company's colors.  Then I walked away, making a note to discuss it at the next staff meeting. Instead, my team thinks okay, crazy Acker says we need green, but we only have the terrible puke green paper that no one else will use since it makes your eyes tear, so let's make 300 copies and do as she said. Now, while I of course appreciate the effort, I'm used to people around me that either know I'm just talking out loud and that there is no reason to actually listen to me, or they will look at me, tell me what a dumb idea that is and walk away with absolutely no intention of doing it. Instead, I'm looking at 300 copies of a feedback form that you can barely even read, and I have to be appreciative and make sure no one loses "face". Face, for those not of the Asian culture, is VERY important here and means you don't embarrass someone in front of their colleagues or peers and that you always try to keep an even keel on the situation so as to not upset anyone. So, what's the rub you ask? My entire career has been all about being perfectly comfortable upsetting people when needed to get things done! And about collaborating with people on ideas, arguing with someone and then going to lunch together with no issues because we know it's just business, and having a constant reminder that your britches aren't quite a big as you think they are. So, needless to say this is going to be a "learning opportunity" for me.

But you know, I do realize how unbelievably lucky I am and I'm grateful to even have a team that even cares enough to listen to what comes out of my mouth, so I'll just shut my yap and keep on trucking ahead. Should be an interesting few months as I learn the ropes.  Let's hope I don't get rope burn.

Oh, I guess I should've worn sunscreen

I'm starting to get into the groove of life in Singapore, but apparently it's a slow process.  A few things I've learned the hard way this week:

1. Singapore lies only 1 degree away from the Equator. Now, I of course knew that, but what I didn't know is that lying by the pool in a city pretty much at the center of the earth means you can get a mean sunburn in about 60 minutes. Especially when you move from New England, where the last time your skin saw sunlight was about 4 months ago. I am a walking tomato. Lesson learned.
2. Napkins are for sissies, and if you try to sit at a table at a food hawker station that has a pack of tissues on the seat, you're opening yourself up to be yelled at by someone that does not have any desire to speak English to make your life easier.  Bring your own napkins, and save your seat with the pack. Got it, lesson learned.
3. Cars drive on the opposite side of the street here. Again, something I already knew. But what I didn't know is that looking left is so ingrained in my brain that crossing the street here is pretty much a daily death trap for me. Look RIGHT, then you won't die on the front of a taxicab. Since I really like living, hopefully lesson learned.
4. Elevators are lifts, trash is rubbish and when someone says "can can" when you ask a question, it doesn't mean they are asking for a container or think you should dance. "Can can"= yes, you silly American.
5. Being the minority can suck. While stuck in an off-the-beaten-path area of town this Friday, around midnight with no clue where I am or how to find a taxi (long story, but starts with me not paying attention and ends with me getting lost in the predominately Muslim section of the city), I realized suddenly that people were staring at me not because my zipper was down or that I was inadvertently showing some cleavage, but because I was CAUCASIAN.  Talk about a weird feeling.  Certainly gives a whole new perspective on how you see yourself in the world. Tall, pale white girl does not equal the majority here, and when it's midnight on Arab St. and you're the one that doesn't belong there, it starts sinking in. Lesson definitely learned.

I am certainly getting my education in world studies here!  But what else have I been doing besides almost getting killed by a taxi and getting the sunburn-of-all-sunburns this week, you ask?  I've started exploring! (Click on the pics below for new pictures!) It's Chinese New Year here and it's amazing - the whole place gets really into it. It's a big deal, a major holiday, and everyone is very focused on the occasion and going all out to celebrate. I even get a 4 day weekend to celebrate properly during the first week of February! The city is beautifully decorated, with lots of gold and red (auspicious colors for the New Year to bring luck) and everyone is out in full force.  I was lucky enough to have a new friend from work invite me to check out Chinatown with him today - it's only about a 5 minute walk from my place and it was amazing! Thankfully I went with a local - it's total chaos, with thousands of people and people loudly hawking their wares everywhere. Henry, my new local buddy, took me to the best stalls, helped me find some gorgeous handmade chopsticks, made me try to Chinese minced pork bbq (delish!) and made sure no one ripped me off when negotiating. I can't wait to go back and explore some more. It's literally like being in a movie.

On the work front, starting to get make some real progress.  It's fantastic - crazy busy, stressful, exciting and best of all, everything I hoped for. I'm getting the opportunity to help drive real change, work side-by-side with senior management to guide the company to a new level and develop a new service vision for the company. It's going to be long hours and the pressure is going to be intense, but I'm absolutely loving it. My first major test is building a concierge team (hello VA Valet!) for our new high-net worth focus, something that will be a leader in our industry here. It's risky and is a completely new way of thinking for our company - just how I like it. As for peeps at work, I'm starting to fit in and make some friends, thankfully. Even though it's only been 3 weeks, I'm not feeling like such a newbie. I'm shaking things up with my team, and about half of them seem to really like it, and the other half either have no idea what I'm trying to do or just don't want any part of it. It's going to be an interesting few months.

On the personal side, I'm starting to make friends outside of work and even have dinner plans this week! It's surprisingly easy to meet people here because there are so many expats - everyone is in the same situation that I am and trying to meet friends.  I'm hoping my new friend has lots of other friends, because while I like myself just as much as the next person, hanging out with just myself is getting old very fast. I've discovered I'm actually rather boring to talk to when no one is there to respond. So let's get this social party started!

Off to bed to start a new week. I'm up on Skype now, so let me know if you want to chat! Talk to you soon!

How in the happy hell do you use this thing???

So I'm at a Chinese New Year event and I'm standing in line for the bathroom. It's crowded of course, so I take the first stall I see open. Now, I want you to close your eyes and imagine with me if you will for a moment. Because suddenly I'm in a bathroom with just a hole in the ground. That's it, just a nice little hole with very nice tile all around it. I am dumbfounded and just stand there looking at it. What am I supposed to do with this?

Suddenly, Slumdog Millionaire comes to me. Didn't I see something like this in that movie?? And it hits me, like the ignorant American that I am, that you're supposed to squat over the damn thing, like a 3 year old watching ants under there feet. Yep, squat just like that.

Needless to say, I left that particular stall and waited for another, as people quietly laughed at me. Silly American you could practically hear them say. But you know, I'm just going to have to be ok with that.

Anyway, it got me thinking. What do you do if your legs are tired? What if you're wearing pantyhose? What if you have a tender sprained ankle and squatting like that will put you in excruciating pain? I guess you just hold it.

I've been a bad blogger, I know it

Dear Readers, please do not think I have forgotten about you! It's been a crazy few days - I got a wicked bad sinus infection (welcome to new germs!), my job is speeding up quickly, I moved into my new apartment and I found a friend, all in the span of about 5 days.  But, I agree, I've been a bad blogger and there is just no excuse.  So, to show you my undying appreciation of you, I have finally posted pictures (see below- just click for more)! It took me FOREVER to figure out how to do it on this damn thing, but it looks like I may have actually figured it out.  Please enjoy a little taste of my first few days here in this amazing city - there will be plenty more coming!

Ready for an update on the crazy life of Acker? Well, let's see.... last time we checked in we discussed the..ahhhh.... tension at work, yes? I am happy to report that while the "tension" has not abated, I am starting to fit in, find allies and make  good impression (I hope). I'm absolutely obsessed, of course without the stalking part, with my CEO. She is a total rockstar.  I'm about the 4th new senior management person she's brought in in the past 6 months, with another on the way, and things are starting to take a new direction.  She is ready to shake things up and has mighty big plans for our little Singapore office and I am so excited to be a part of it! After talking these past few days with the management team, it is clear that while I have my work cut out for me, there is a lot of support and excitement about me being here and I couldn't be more relieved and pumped to get started.  Next step, winning over my team.  That's going to be an interesting challenge, but you remember of course my saying about Kim Kardashian's mascara and my love of a challenge? Well, bring it on Ms. Kardashian, bring it on.

On the personal front, I'm finally in my new apartment! (Finally.... like I've been here for months or something). It's unbelievable, so check out some of the early pics.  In fact, I'm enjoying a nice glass of red wine on the 31st floor terrace at this very moment. After I'm done, I'm going to hop into one of the jacuzzis that overlooks the city and relax my very tired brain. I feel like I'm in a dream -please do not wake me up! I can't believe I have been given this opportunity. I feel so lucky it's ridiculous.  

Some deets on the apartment - one bedroom loft on the 11th floor, 25-foot ceilings on the first floor with floor-to-ceiling windows. My apartment overlooks the unbelievable pool (pics soon) with my bedroom and bathroom on the 2nd floor. The pool is the size of a small country, with 6 jacuzzis, aromatherapy and yoga bays and a great gym on the 31st floor.  PLEASE DO NOT PINCH ME!  And the best part? Lots of expats! I can't wait to start meeting people. I think I'm just going to start tackling people in the elevator. That should win over people instantly.

Oh, I've even made a friend! I got invited to go watch the dragon boat racing this weekend. Now, I clearly have no clue what in the hell a dragon boat is, how to cheer them on or any of the rules, but if my movers can get out of here in time for me to go this Saturday, I will be down at the river screaming like only someone who has no clue can. 

Last but not least, I've had a few people ask me about the biggest differences here in Singapore, so I've put together a quick list on what's I've seen so far. I"m sure more to come as I actually start exploring the city, but here's my early observations:

 - Calories are called "energy" here on the packaging - isn't that fantastic? Makes you feel like you're doing something awesome for your body by just eating.

 - No such thing as diet here - it's Coke Light, milk light, etc. Still can't get used to asking for Coke Light, but I'll get there eventually.

 - Fruit is super cheap, wine and liquor is not, All liquor is imported, so it's a hefty increase.  Probably good for the 'ole liver after my last month in Boston though.

 - Shopping is a national obsession.  I really can't even say that word strongly enough. The shopping "plazas" here are out of control, they're everywhere and you can get anything from Manolo Blahniks to cheap knock-offs.  My pocket book is weeping already.

- Air conditioning is called "aircon" and it is very important here. I even have a timer for my aircon units so I can come home to a nice cool apartment. I of course can't figure out how to work it yet, but when I do, watch out cold air!

 - Eggs aren't refrigerated at the grocery store. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but I'll give them a try.

 - The subway system (or MRT) puts Boston to shame. On time, very quiet, always on time and you don't even have to hang on to anything the ride is so smooth. And it's air conditioned, of course!

 - McD's is 24 hours here and it DELIVERS. How's that for after-bar munchie heaven?

- Staff at stores overwhelm you with service. This is going to take some getting used to - I feel like I should buy something just because they're so damn nice.

 - Tipping is pretty much non-existent. You only tip porters at hotels and occasionally your taxi driver if he's super cool, but otherwise a 10% surcharge is added and pooled by everyone and tipping is not the norm. What I save on tipping is going into my new shoe fund.

The jacuzzi is calling my friends, so I'm off to relax for a little while.  Now that I'm settling in and ready to start really exploring, I'll be back soon with hopefully some interesting stuff. If not, just remember I'm not a writer, I'm just pretending.  

Hugs and kisses!!!!!!!

New pics are in!!

Check out some of my first round of pics - you'll see some pictures from my first, unbelievable flight on Singapore Air (hands down the BEST airline I have ever seen), my New Year's Eve celebration, some shopping (the national past time here) and my new apartment.  More new apartment pics will be posted next week once I move in.

Update - suffering from my first Singapore cold right now, but pushing through.  Luckily, my office has a doctor's office in it, as the people here just think of everything to make life easier.  He even gave me gum!!! Apparently gum is not actually illegal anymore, it just can't be sold.  So I can get it from the pharmacy to "keep my teeth fresh". Gotcha, right, right.  The doctor thought it would help me with any homesickness - how freaking cute is that?

Going to get my new cell phone today, so I'll post my new number as soon as I have it.

Made it through the first week of work and guess what my dear readers?? I'm making friends! While one of my direct reports is still clearly unhappy that I'm here, I think the other one is coming around and we're starting to click.  I feel the battles coming, but I look damn good in armor, so I'm ready to get started.

I'll post more soon and give some insight on the many things I'm experiencing that are so different from the US.  XOXO

Just like the first day of school...

You forget how weird it is to start a new job until you're suddenly standing in the lobby of a brand new building, watching people walking by that you've never seen before and trying to figure out where in the hell you're supposed to be going.  This is me this morning. So, I just did what any normal person would do- I jumped on the elevator and introduced myself as the "new American" to the first person I saw (ok, so normal for me). The gods of first days were totally looking out for me because lo and behold, the person I introduced myself to happened to be the head of HR.  Insert palpable relief here.

So, what was my first day like in a new country, new culture and new business you ask? JUST like your first day at a new school.  You know what I'm talking about - you're excited and eager to meet people, but really want to just stand in the corner like a complete loser while also hoping that your new teacher is not only nice, but also sits you next to someone that doesn't pick their nose with their pencil.  Luckily, while I definitely got stared at quite a bit (pale, tall, temporarily red-heads tend to draw the eye here), my new boss seems fantastic and I've already made a friend and been offered the most delicious mango treat I've ever put in my mouth.  Yes, I know Caroline and Traci, I'm allergic to mangos. But it was just so yummy looking I could not help myself, and when you're the new girl you'll take what love you can get!

Now, I can't lie and put a totally positive spin on the whole day because that would just be less-than-honest and I am committed to giving you the whole truth about my time here or else why the hell should you even bother to read this thing, right? So here's the dig - my new direct reports are NOT HAPPY I am here. I could practically read the "who the hell is this loud american girl think she is coming over here and taking my possible promotion from me??" on their foreheads.  So, while my new boss thinks I'm the cat's meow, my team is definitely in the still very unsure about this american chick mode. But you know what, I love a challenge like Kim Kardashian likes mascara, so bring it on! Let the influencing, politicking and silent-arm wrestling begin.

On another quick note - I found my apartment!!!!! It's ridiculously amazing and I cannot wait to post pics. (which I swear I will do as soon as I can find a cord that connects to my camera over here, but I did post a new pic of the outside of the building on the site) I move in next Tuesday and suffice it to say that I am ecstatic. Loft apartment, massive pool, amazing location and lots of expats - just what the doctor ordered.

A little house keeping before I go - my new email address will be up and running tomorrow.  I'll be sacker@manulife.com going forward so be sure to update your contact book.

Lots of x's and o's to everyone.  Please write (email or comment here) and let me know how you're doing!!